Ask Bob Lampard

Are you thinking that your spouse is no longer the person you had hoped they would be?

Do you look around and see your friends and acquaintances with seemingly fulfilling marriages and feel you may be missing out?

If this is all getting too much for you and you just cannot see the future in your marriage and are thinking about giving up…..

STOP RIGHT THERE!

Before you throw in the towel, or worse, start looking for a ‘quick fix’ with a short term fling to ‘get you through’….. I have some good news for you.

“Your marriage might not be as dismal as you think!”

The first thing to do is stop and think why you married your spouse in the first place. The chances are it was a sexual and emotional attraction. Having fun together both in and out of bed are the main reasons we pick our future spouse.

Most of us marry someone who has the same values as ourselves, but who often has different personality characteristics to ourselves. Outgoing, extrovert personalities often marry people with quiet and introvert personalities. Those who ‘get things done’ marry people who like to ‘think things through’. At first this all seems great.

When we first fall in love we do not look at our partners with a critical eye. We love the fact they are different to ourselves. Ok, they might have lacked a little in punctuality or decorum but, hey, they made us laugh.

But now we have other things on our plate than just sexual attraction. we have a mortgage to pay, children need to be attended to. In the cold light of day we forget the reasons we married and start paying too much attention to our spouse’s imperfections.

If we are not careful we mentally start to focus on what our spouse is not, and end up disappointed. Chances are our partner may be doing just the same!

If this is happening in your marriage it is time to stop and remember the person who you married and why you married them. take some time to think what that means for your future together. It should give you a much better and positive picture of the future.

The answer to finding happiness in your marriage again is:

• Accept your spouse exactly as they are
• Remember and love those things which attracted you in the first place
• Enjoy again those things just as you did before you were married.

Free yourself from feeling resentful. Give them some help in the areas they have problems and you will find they will start doing the same for you without you having to ask.

Who know you may just start to enjoy your marriage again!

 Bob Lampard

Save Your Marriage