Ask Bob Lampard

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and
rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads
come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that
lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious
vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one
hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to
happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and
jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in
life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is
a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited
knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is
the guarantee that you would choose the right one along the way?
Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a
crossroad?

There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take
it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important
things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to
do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness.
Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would
be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness.
Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip
short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are
highly qualified and competent.  There are too many possible
outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have
power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would
act and react to different situations.

Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have
gone along with it? Perhaps not. Why would you choose a certain
path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain
decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the
right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected
on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or
outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly.
Otherwise, your decision was wrong.

Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your
decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as
well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping
yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could
get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an
opportunity for an adventure, or even open more roads. It is all a
matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost
traveller or an accidental tourist of life.  But be careful that
you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about
being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help
you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:

- Obtain as much information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little
about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the
5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who
are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this
leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the
possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This
is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of
information about a situation.

- Identify and create options.

What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are
few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you
think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that
you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most
simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not
shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the
most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end.
You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make
more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that
you make the decision yourself in the end.

- Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages
it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the
consequences of such an option.

- Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust
yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions
are always at hindsight.  So choose… decide… believe that you are
choosing the best option at this point in time.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its
consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise
or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have
chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a
passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision
or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the
outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have
the chance to make better decisions in the future.

 Bob Lampard

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